Safety First

The Department of Homeland Security always has your safety in mind.  Politics has nothing to do with it.  No, seriously.  They are not political at all.  Trust me on this one.  It's all about SAFETY.PERIOD.SAFETY.

You can never have enough SAFETY.  So if ever you find yourself under nuclear attack, take this sage DHS advice:

For details, go to this DHS website:

And, yes, these people not only get paid with taxpayer dollars, but they also get retirement and health plan benefits and a day off for every federal holiday, same as Congress...i.e., the harder you work, the better off they are.  It's good work if you can get it.

Ah, some might say, but federal employees pay taxes just like everyone else.  Okay, I say.  That's true.  They do pay taxes like the rest of us.  But let's go one step farther.  To make things even, let's hire every eligible citizen to work for the federal government.  That way everything works out equally for everyone, benefits included.  Equity, right?  But there's a catch.  If we do that, where would the money come from to pay everyone's wage or salary?  Do we just print it and hand it out?  Asking for a friend.

Maybe it's just me, and this could be a reach, but here's an additional heads up:  If there's a nuclear attack, I don't think masks or social distancing will help.  Cf. Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Radiation and blast waves don't care about cloth masks or N95s.  Better to just bend over and kiss your....well, anyway, you know.

Sorry, folks, but you can't fix stupid, even at DHS.