Friday, November 18, 2016

White Noise

I promise I'm not making this up.

As of this afternoon, both CSPAN and FOX News (Facebook) have live-stream video cameras in the lobby of Trump Tower.  I don't mean they have cameras focused on Trump or his transition team.  Or his friends.  Or his associates.  Or his maintenance personnel.  Or even anything newsworthy.  They simply have a streaming feed of the lobby, with white noise of people talking in the background, though you can't even make out what they are saying, some of which would be much more interesting than the live-feed itself.

If you didn't respect The Donald earlier, you should now.  I mean, how many live feeds are set up outside Obama's residence at the White House?  Lots of important people enter and leave that place. Trump Tower, not so much.  Watch the live feed for a minute.  You'll understand what I'm saying.  It's just another day at the bus station.  You won't recognize anyone.  And nobody's naked.  Or holding signs.  Or causing a ruckus. Just business as usual at your everyday Trump Tower.  But for CSPAN and FOX, it's a 24/7 news extravaganza.

Yes, friends, that's the size of the wave that Donald Trump rode in on.  CSPAN and FOX will film dead space because Donald Trump is in the building.  Or at least they think he is.  He might be out having supper with his children, but they know you don't know that for sure, and they don't either, so the cameras stay glued to the lobby in real time, because they believe the sight of those marble walls and shiny elevator doors and the sheer anticipation of....something.or other...will mesmerize you.  It's like waiting for smoke to rise above the Vatican before the next Pope is announced.  Except, in this case, the Pope is still alive.  Granted, alternatively you could choose to watch grass grow, but what could be more riveting than watching anonymous people entering and leaving Trump Tower because, you know, they have places to go.  It's fascinating stuff, much like watching guppies in an aquarium, if that's how you roll.

The reason for watching is obvious, you oblivious buffoon.  At any minute, Moses and Krishna and Jesus could waltz into the foyer, arm in arm, each one high-stepping in his iconic garb.  Or perhaps the friend of a friend of someone who heard a rumor about the person who might be nominated for some post in the Trump administration might stride right up to the elevator and then...hold your breath...get on the elevator as we watch the doors close.  Or not.  So stay tuned.

This is yet another reason why CSPAN and FOX should never wade into the reality TV genre. Where are the strategically-blurred naked people that keep us hoping the cameraman might go rogue? Where is the girl who squeals when she steps on a worm, or the guy who gets crotch fungus and cries Mama on day two?  Nowhere to be seen.  C'mon, you gotta give us something other than marble tiles and the hum of background voices.  Can I get a Kardashian?  Beyonce or Bear Gryls?   Or at least an episode of Bizarre Food?  Anything with some color.  Instead, I gotta watch two guys in suits loiter around the elevator making small talk while passersby amble through the scene.  Oy, veh.  Watch for yourself if you're that bored.  I did, because I was.  But only for a minute.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.  My point was that Trump has made such a splash that even his uneventful hotel lobby has become newsworthy.  Round-the-clock newsworthy.  Pause for a moment and think about that.

What is the meaning of this rupture in American politics?  And what is the significance of this man Donald Trump?  He is no god, for sure.  Not even close.  But an avatar?  Maybe.  But an avatar of what?  A turkey or an eagle?  It remains to be seen.  My money is on the eagle.

h/t:  Last Refuge