Sunday, July 22, 2018

The DOJ and FBI Have Re-Defined "Circle Jerk"

The redacted FISA Court approvals to spy on the Trump campaign (via Carter Page) have been released to the public.  And, yes, the DOJ/FBI rationale for requesting the approval re-defines the meaning of "circle jerk."

Information flowing into the FBI from the State Department, Fusion GPS, DOJ, Christopher Steele, John McCain, Harry Reid, John Brennan and various outraged media outlets all came from -- wait for it --  a SINGLE SOURCE, namely, former British spy Christopher Steele himself, whose dossier was certified by the FBI and DOJ but never verified by them.  Nonetheless, the FBI/DOJ took that "gossip" (otherwise known in the industry at "opposition research") to the secretive FISA Court and got approval to spy on the Donald Trump campaign from October, 2016 to September, 2017.

Let me put it this way:

"Your Honor, 
We do not have any verified evidence that anyone in the Trump campaign colluded in any way with the Russian government regarding the 2016 election, but standing with me today is a detective who has won numerous awards in law enforcement.  Three or four times he won the 'Outstanding Sheriff of the Week Award.'  He reports that Donald Trump hired Russian prostitutes to pee on a bed in Moscow.  He claims the information comes from sources who have friends that have relatives who work at the hotel in Moscow where the peeing occurred, though he doesn't know who they are.  But he definitely heard about it from someone, which we believe makes it true.  And we are the pre-eminent law enforcement agency in the world.
We feel you also should know we cut ties with the award-winning law enforcement officer recently because he proved to be unreliable.  Long story short, he lied to us about peddling this same information to the media, which is a no-no in our clandestine line of work. 
Still, we believe the law enforcement officer's claim about the bed incident (and other stuff) must be true based on his prior credibility, plus those awards he won on previous occasions, even though we had to cut him loose for misleading us.  Plus, media outlets who spoke with the law enforcement officer and got the same report we did have reported on the same thing he told us.  That's independent verification, right?  You know, what with rules of evidence and probable cause and all that other legal stuff.
Therefore, may we please spy on the Donald Trump campaign, using all the tools of our national intelligence agencies to assist us.  The election is but weeks away.  I assure you we will find a crime if you'll just give us the authority to look anywhere we please.
If we might add, Your Honor, and as you must know, everybody is guilty of at least three felonies.  It's our job to find one of them.  I'm confident we can and I'm sure we will.  We never spy on innocent people. 
Your approval will further the cause of justice and protect our country.  
Please be assured that everything we claim has been verified and certified for accuracy, as per our signatures. 
Plus, Trump sucks.
Yours truly,  
The FBI and DOJ.

That's it in a nutshell, folks.

Let that sink in.

No comments:

Post a Comment